Review 22.12
29 August - 11 September, 1997

The other month, I was summoned to a meeting of the Learned Elders of Zion to discuss the Pauline Hanson situation. This was just a local gathering, and I should stress here that as a gentile, I don't have a full-time position as such, but I'm called in from time to time for some light relief.

For those readers unaware of the Learned Elders, here's the story. The Learned Elders of Zion is the international roof-body of Jewish community leaders who run the world. Nothing happens in the world without their say so, absolutely nothing. Both world wars: they ran them. The English, French and Russian revolutions: they started them. Lisa Marie and Michael Jackson: they got them together and they split them up again. Amazing stuff.

Because the New York and Moscow branches have traditionally had the numbers weighted in their favour, Australia has only three delegates - two Rabbis, one Orthodox, one Reform (and you thought that quarrel was for real, ha!), and usually a leading representative from the local community. This year they wanted Sam Lipski, but he was busy with the printers' strike, so they had to make do with Ken Bruce, the guy who flogs fridges on late night TV.

The Orthodox Rabbi is a bit dubious about Ken's claim that his two-door fridges satisfy kosher requirements, but otherwise they all get on with the job of dominating world affairs.

Anyway, as I said, this month we've been discussing Pauline. Not many people know this, but Pauline Hanson is a tool of the Jews. Really. Before the last election, if you'll recall, most of the anti-immigration running was being made by Graeme Campbell, and that got the Zionist Conspiracy really scared, because after all, he's such a charismatic figure. What if he managed to build a mass movement? they wondered. So one of the lads suggested that with the help of the media (the Jews control the media as we ll; do you think that "Rupert Murdoch" is his real name?), an otherwise useless individual should be promoted nationally as the voice of Australian racism, to derail the patriotic movement, etc, etc.

Enter Pauline Hanson. Now Pauline fits the bill perfectly. Sad home life, not too bright, sufficiently abrasive to alienate anyone foolish enough to work with her, barely literate and incapable of building a party organisation. And, I must say, for some time, it appeared that this diabolical plan was working.

Sadly, however, the lads and lasses were rumbled. The first warning came back in April when the far-right League of Rights ran one of its typically incisive analyses of Australian politics in On Target. Writing on the formation of Hanson's One Nation party, the intellectually small but perfectly formed League National Director David Thompson reiterated the League's principled opposition to party politics - particularly parties that the League is unable to hijack and subvert - and said: "Many serious questions need to be asked about the formation of the Hanson One Nation party.

The first question is who has advised Ms Hanson to take this step. ... Pauline Hanson makes no pretence of intellectual status ... Her own motivation may well be beyond reproach, but what of those around her? At best she has been badly advised. By whom? What motivates them?"

Now, the Learned Elders should have guessed that the League, which can pick a Jewish conspiracy a mile off, would have been wise to them early on. But now it seems everyone with a conspiratorial bone to pick has latched on to the real story.

The latest issue of The New Citizen, the quarterly newspaper of Australia's followers of convicted US fraudster and fascist Lyndon LaRouche, details the supposedly shady backgrounds of Hanson's friends and former advisers. Graeme Campbell: "British born"; John Pasquarelli: "first of a string of spooks and Mont Pelerin assets"; Jeff Babb "member of the Adam Smith Club ... a controller"; David Thomas: "former member of the Australian Secret Intelligence Service"; David Ettridge: "former fundraiser for World Vision ... which allegedly has been involved in questionable doings".

(Oddly enough, there was no mention of her sad faced little poppet David Oldfield. That one has me puzzled. Too earnest for my liking. When I saw him up on the telly the other week, trying to defend that bizarre outburst about Christian-only immigration, I wondered "When was the last time you were on your knees?")

But I digress. According to The New Citizen: "Whatever her intentions may have been, Hanson has been created as a 'countergang', a synthetic organisation designed to siphon off political dissent into a dead-end... The real target of this apparatus, ultimately, is not Hanson, but Lyndon LaRouche, and his Australian associates in the Citizens Electoral Councils." Of course, what most readers wouldn't know is that the Jewish Conspiracy has been running Lyndon LaRouche for years, but he's a bit of a drama queen, and he can't stand it when he's out of the spotlight for more than a moment.

What prompted the latest Elders meeting was a report from their London office that Nigel Jackson, the League of Rights' would-be poet laureate (would be, that is, if On Target was the sort of publication that ran badly written poems about old men fantasising about young girls), had written an article on the Pauline Hanson phenomenon for Spearhead, journal of the neo-Nazi British National Party, in which he said:

"From somewhere a national leader of requisite capacity must be found... Pauline Hanson, I suspect ... may only be of outer ministerial competence. She has been rocketed to stardom by freaks of fate and by the controlled media. Would our enemies be giving her so much publicity if they were not confident that, in the long run, she will do her cause more harm than good?"

Well, old Nige got that bang on the money, as they say in the East End of London. The only redeeming feature in this whole sorry affair for the Learned Elders is that as dodgy as Pauline might appear to our local far-right paranoids, they'll still stick by her thick and thin. I mean, they may be barking mad, but they're not so mad that they believe what they say.